yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
