She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
