I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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