Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Houston, we have a squirter
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
