At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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