I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
