you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
