In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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