I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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