Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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