I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
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