we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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