Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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