We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
