I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
