I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm just crazy horny about you
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
