and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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