Duck Duck Cougar?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
