how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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