I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
