Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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