I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
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You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
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I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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