It's like a parade of train wrecks.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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