just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
