she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
