Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
