Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
