I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think people are normalizing furries
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize