Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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