You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
