It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
