who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
