please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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