It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
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Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
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i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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