Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
