She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
