Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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