Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize