How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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