I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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