I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
