You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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