woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
