i don't like sucking hair
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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