a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
