He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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