We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
