I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
