4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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