Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
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