I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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