Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
