the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
