..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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