Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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