So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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