Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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