so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
