Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
