Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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